Thursday, November 6, 2008

2012.... give me a friken break

I'm a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight.....

* If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're "exotic, different."

* Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, a quintessential American story.

* If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

* Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a maverick.

* Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.

* Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.

* If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.

* If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.

* If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.

* If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.

* If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

* If , while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant , you're very responsible.

* If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's.

* If you're husband is nicknamed "First Dude", with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

OK, much clearer now.!! I think Palin and Cheney should go hunting together... one can only hope... I'll miss Tina Fey though.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Who's on First..... geek style

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their famous
sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on 'START'.............

Monday, August 18, 2008

The Next President

I swear, if Harrison Ford was running for President, I would vote for him. Not the Indiana Jones character but when he played the President trapped on Air Force One and he managed to kick the bad guy's asses and rescue all the hostages... I would vote for that guy!

Since I'm not a total idiot, I realize that the idea is just silly but when your watching that movie and he starts doing all his cool movie moves and gets the mentality of sacrificing for the good of others, you realize what a loser we have in office. Do you honestly think Dubya could get himself out of the bathroom by himself never mind defeat the bad guys and save all the innocents? Well, we do have an election coming up so there is hope for us all... maybe.

When I ask my friends who they are going to vote for, I get nervous. Everyone has the right to vote and make an educated decsion that will impact the entire world for at least the next 4 years. When their responses are something like "I would have voted for Hilary" or "I haven't decided yet" I get really scared and a little frustrated as well. Most of the people voting, do not even know where the candidates stand on issues. They are looking at skin color, still, in this day and age, there are many, many predudices, hidden but influential in people's decisions. The one response I can't get out of my head was when a friend of mine said "There's just something about Obama that I don't like. He seems sneaky." My first reaction was ... "Well, duh, he's a politician, they're all sneaky!" My next reaction was disapointment. This particular friend is a very intelligent, strong woman. I look up to her, even though she doesn't know it (shhhhh, don't tell her). I may not always agree with her but that's OK, I like differences in opinion, it makes for interesting conversations. I am afraid to talk about politics though. I don't want anyone to get angry or defensive and that's what this particular subject seems to be doing, anywhere I go.

Don't talk about the election, it upsets people. Well, that's the impression I get anyway.

The issues are never discussed. I know so many people that are just going to vote for McCain because he's as white as you can get, he's a vet and he's trying to appear as experienced and wise as my grandfather. So what if he's older than my grandfather? So what if he has been known to throw temper tantrums (anyone else remember the hissy fits that he is well known for?) Google "McCain's temper" and you get tons of articles and examples of his bouts of temper going back years. But, nothing written since Febuary of this year. Why? Is he trying to make people forget about it? Well, it's working. Society at large only has about 1 week of selective memory. We conveniently forget about things as soon as another story comes around.

So, lets take a look at some of the issues and where the two main candidates stand on them. This is just a summary that I have gathered from other election sources. Just a brief overview of the main issues. I've added my comments, not that anyone cares but that is the point of a blog isn't it?:

Iraq:
McCain - Supports current plan, whatever that my be... world domination?
Obama - Against it from the get go, supports capping the number of troupes and a planned withdrawl within 16 months of election.
Stephanie: I understand why we went there. I understand the responsibility we must own up to for being there. I only question the long term plan, it's hidden motives and it's global reprecussions. It must have a plan to end. Our own country needs help too.

Immigration: Both want border controls and citizenship path for current illegals in US. Obama takes it one step further by suggesting citizenship if fines and back taxes are paid. Both insist that English be learned as well (thank you!).
Stephanie: I love the melting pot that is America. I don't care about blood lines or skin color, my only peeve is the language barrier. We all should learn another language. Me, I want to learn German. They make really good beer... :)

Health Care:
McCain - supports importing perscriptions to lower costs.
Obama - supports universal health care required for children and wants the governmnent to buy perscriptions in bulk to lower costs.
Stephanie: How about Free Health Care for all, paid by the government with our taxes. Since they take 1/3 of my pay check, I shouldn't have to pay for medical and dental on top of it. People are living longer and getting sicker with weird diseases that no one knows how to cure. Restrict chemical additives in food, improve soil quality in the farm states and pay farmers to grow food that's loaded with good vitamins and minerals. I bet we all get better and can then lower health costs.

Same Sex Marriage:
McCain - opposes and says it should be a state issue
Obama - opposes marriage but supports "Civil Unions"
Stephanie: Not only do I not care about nationality or skin color, I also don't care about people's sexual preferences. As long as they don't include children or animals (can you say "death penalty"?) Everyone has the right to be happy.

Abortion:
McCain - Opposes - believes it is a state issue, not federal (at least it isn't a God issue)
Obama - Pro-Choice
Stephanie: Pro-Choice - touchy subject for many people. There isn't an easy answer but things like world population concerns and scarcity of natural resources has to start making people think.

Gun Control:
McCain - Supports background checks but doesnt' want to limit types of weapons.
Obama - Supports background checks and limits or restrictions on assault and automatic weapons as well as concealed weapons.
Stephanie: Background checks and training/certification for use should be norm. Too many stupid people out there.

"The Economy:
John McCain - In his 15-page economic plan, McCain says he has a comprehensive economic plan that will create millions jobs and bring relief to consumers. He says he will balance the government’s budget by the end of his first term by reducing the costs of large government programs. McCain has called for tax credits for research and development to encourage companies to be innovative while saving money.

Barack Obama - In his 48-page plan for “strengthening the middle class,” Obama says he would provide an immediate $250 tax cut for workers and their families. Obama proposed a fund to help people refinance their mortgages to avoid foreclosure and provide tax credits to help pay mortgages. He supports raising the minimum wage and increasing job training programs that would help Americans find work in occupations related to clean energy." (from http://uspolitics.america.gov/uspolitics/elections/issues.html)

Obviously there are a few differences, some hot topics for people to chew on. In the end we all need to make an educated decision, not a color choice.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Continuing my education of the world

Well, I think I finally found a source of information that may help me to wrap my feeble brain around what the hell is going on in the world. It may take me the next 6 months to disseminate all the information into bits that sink in and start putting the pieces of the puzzle together but it's a start.

Now that I'm getting educated on the ways of the political world, I want my ignorance back, I was happier that way. Does anyone realize how screwed we all are? I know ignorance is bliss but we all need to get our heads out of our buttocks and start taking control. Screw democracy, it's hasn't existed in the US since Watergate, we are just being fed the propaganda and sucking it up like it is sweet nectar. I'm ready to start the burning bra rallies and protesting against the media's ambulance chaser mentalities (I never liked the damn bra anyway!).

Whether you are for or against the "war". No matter who you would like to vote for or who you feel you have no choice to vote for, realize that the newspapers, the TV media, the internet and you next door neighbor can't all be right. Decide for yourself, read, research and make an EDUCATED decision. You'll be surprised what you find out about things you thought you had all the answers too or the people you are about to vote for. Look at ALL the issues, not just the media blitzed ones and never, ever believe that they can't fool you into believing what they want you to believe. We are all looking for the quick, easy answer. It's only when the truth hits you square between the eyes that depression sets in and you start drinking more or buying handguns.

If you've read any of my older posts you'll know that it is a good thing I don't own a handgun. I'll stick to drinking, more fun that way.

Good site: http://www.motherjones.com/index.html

Thursday, July 10, 2008

I'm still waiting.....


I did what you told me to do.

I sent the email to 10 people like you said but

I'm still waiting for that miracle to happen.


To all my friends who in the last year sent me best 'wishes', chain letters, 'angel' letters or other promises of good luck if I forwarded something, none of it worked.

Now, could you please just send money, vodka, chocolate, movie tickets, gasoline vouchers and airline tickets instead?

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Well....

So, I guess a little anger peeked through in the last Rant. Whoa... it's a good thing that I don't hold things in too much. I recall the rage and the reasoning behind it. I'm just glad that writing and talking cured me of the rage quickly.

Now, I look at the world and just get depressed. Not a "cry in my soup" depressed but a "whipped" feeling overcomes me when I watch the news sometimes. The positive must come out. I refuse to live in a "post holiday" slump. Granted, there are things in life we must all get through. Some realizations that "Life is Short" is not just a catch phrase. (enough with the quotation marks already!)

Well I've had to make an effort to smile lately. Nothing dramatic, just a slump but I can tell that, I just need a good laugh, a good friend, a good drink and some good music. Maybe I'll find the time over the next weekend to shake the blues but in the meantime I rely on funny emails from my friends.

I received an email from a friend in Florida. Most of the time she sends me crap like "If you don't send this to everyone you ever maintained eye contact with then you will die or have bad luck for 10 days" chain letters and Urban Legend "this happend to a woman in a dark parking lot" emails. But this time she sent me one called "thoughts on bathing a cat". That says it all, it made me laugh like hell, just what I needed. Thanks Elaine!


Friday, January 25, 2008

To kill or not to kill

How many people would you kill if you could, legally? For me, the number is small but each one would have a good reason behind it, at least for me. The repercussions are what hold me back from getting an actual firearm (quick and clean). I'm not talking jail time. Granted that is a deterrent but the emotional repercussions for me and others (sadly enough) are what really make me resist the urge.


There would be a point where it would be too easy and simple things like cutting me off in a line to get my dunkin donuts coffee could result in a blood bath. That being said (and marked for reference by our government) I'm sure a part of me would regret my actions. I jest, about the killing part. Well, the random killing part. There are definite reasons to take a life. Danger to oneself and to loved ones by a malicious villain intent on harm, Heroic action for the sake of others even Service to your country (don't get me on that subject just yet). I'm sure I could come up with other instances where taking a life is reasonable and even condoned by authorities. For me, it seem like the emotional impact is the punishment for the crime, more than the incarceration (if caught).

I considered the murderous intent that I am currently enthralled in to be a reflex of anger and even rage. I guess I'm just the kind of person that, given enough time, I will find the sanity to rethink my instinct to cause harm to another for the simple fact that I would really feel bad when all was said and done. Incarceration would not matter. My guilt is more powerful than a threat of a tiny cell and cellmates that find my ass irresistible. I still think that I would find great pleasure in giving a certain individual, who will remain anonymous, the scare of their life. (Insert evil laugh here).

People suck.

In general, I hope to believe in the innate goodness of humanity but the longer I live on this planet I find that belief tested in many ways. Too many ways. Everyone seems to be out for themselves, even if they don't know what that means, nor do the understand or care what it means for others. Again, here is my deterrent for a massive killing spree. I do understand what my actions do to others and I care. Silly me.

Should I throw away the morals and ethics that my conscience has always run a spell check on? Or maybe, I should say.... Fuck it, like so many other people do? In the end, I have to live with myself, no one else does. I guess I'll put aside the handgun registration form (good law) and give myself a few days to calm down and maybe, somehow (without a religious context) find the ability to forgive if not forget.